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Counting the Bags
Counting the Bags
June 20th 2007
Twelve to be precise – at the current rate of one a day. Bag-off day is July 3rd. If I only change them every other day, would it come any sooner?I’ve waited 18 months for this moment. Now - a mix of relief, joy and a little apprehension. Will the old plumbing still work? New routines to learn. Potty training at my age?I took some photos. Nothing flashy - just a side view, a top view and a full-frontal. I sat on the edge of the bed, the camera on a tripod about 2 feet away and fired the shutter with a remote control. Not for the family album or the mantelpiece, but to remind me in years to come of what the stoma looked like. I know I’ll forget the pain, the discomfort, the inconvenience - but I don’t want to forget what I’ve lived through. Or rather – what we’ve lived through. Annie’s had to deal with this too.I shall also miss my stoma make-overs with the Bag-Lady. I wonder if I can just turn up at her clinic and get her to shave my stomach – for old time’s sake. Nah.It probably sounds trite – but I have learnt a lot from this experience. As well as learning something about the mechanics of the human body, I’m less squeamish than I was and I’ve pushed myself beyond what was my original comfort zone. Life will never be the same again – thank goodness. Looking at my stoma – which the Bag-Lady still describes as ‘beautiful' – and when it behaves I can see what she means (a bit) - I realise I share something in common with Guy Fawkes. We’ve both seen something that fortunately not many people get to see - our insides – luckily I’m here to tell the tale.
At long last, here comes the corner that you have
been wanting to turn for so long. I am soooo
pleased for you & root for you all the way - as if
my wishing you well would help? Keep us posted,
good luck:)
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comment added :: 20th June 2007, 18:29 GMT
JJ made this comment,
Your first line reminded me of the way a parent
describes waiting for an event to a child- "3 more
sleeps to Xmas." 12 days to a big change in your
life, and one filled with a degree of
unpredicatability.
My best wishes go with you.
JJ
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comment added :: 22nd June 2007, 11:43 GMT
jj made this comment,
You said you didnt want to forget, and yet it
almost seems "obvious" that we might want to
forget sometyhing so unpleasant and frightening as
these times we are going thru'..... so why
remember??
WHY do I want to rememeber??
So I am not complacant?
I took photos,I think partly for others and partly
for myself. So that in the future, when i might
have forgotten how things were, how bad they were,
I can look back and see i am in a better place
..(Or so I hoped!)
My reason feels a little evanescent, I can't seem
to quite grasp it.
If this is so aweful, WHY do I seem to be so
compelled to not forget it
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comment added :: 25th June 2007, 06:48 GMT
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